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What if this happens again!

by Jon (follow)
Rating: 5/5

 What if this happens again!

So two years ago when my youngest was 3 months old we went to Japan on holiday. I noticed my fiance was on his phone A LOT more than usual... I never went through his phone before and it's pretty much impossible to do so since he has face recognition on it... but while in the train in Japan his face recognition didn't work and I saw him enter his pin. I memorised it and went through his phone that night... found he was on tinder ... ( he suffers from extreme anxiety and depression he went through a massive breakdown throughout that time ) but it's affected me!
So he was extremely sorry didn't know why he did it etc etc.... then during that year, I became much more alert... I searched his phone that much that I found he was living a completely double life! He was taking drugs and going to house parties with girls that he and his mates would meet:.. recording girls poolside the day before my daughter was born (saw the dates) gambling excessive amounts of money ( I handle the money now) but so much has happened ... messaged women on Instagram.. not so much to catch up but for them to send photos etc I know sounds like a real creep but I promise he isn't ... I just have HUGE Trust issues ... He went to rehab and seems fine now and I know the pin to his phone and he knows that... and everything has been fine. He stopped drinking etc .. comes home at a reasonable time etc ... I'm pregnant with my 3rd and feel so insecure in myself ... people tell him that his batting above his average with me I know I'm an attractive woman, I'm a model and I look after myself but after all this, I feel so damaged ... I feel so unworthy and so insecure... I'm seeing a psychologist now to see if I can fix the way I'm feeling! My main concern is can I trust him... what if this happens again!

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